i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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