He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
