Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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