Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The adults are the big ones right?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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