I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
