We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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