she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My penis needs a shock collar
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
