1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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