Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
