He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
