if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
