I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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