1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
