Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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