You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
only you would photoshop your dick
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
