So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
