I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
