Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
