I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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