Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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