Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
