Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
