sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
