no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize