what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
