Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's official drugs can't kill me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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