So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize