he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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