I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
