I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
