Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
