You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
