he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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