You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
