fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
