My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How does one acquire holy water?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
