You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
