I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
