Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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