Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
where am i from again
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
