she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
