Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
