i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
