VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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