matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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