I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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