break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
