he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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