So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just high enough for therapy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wear drunk well.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
