I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
