She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
