wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
