i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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