She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize