Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
