Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
