...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
