Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
