what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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