ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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