I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
