Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
