Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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