The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
two words: eviction party
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
