you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize