Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
