ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
