Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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